1. A second
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says: "In a second"一秒钟
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话。他问："主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少？""一便士"上帝回答,男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟"。最后男子请求道："上帝,我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟"
2.Cat and Mice Mrs. Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs. Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs. Brown.
猫和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友,她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。"盒子里装的是什么？"朋友问道。"一只小猫"布朗夫人回答说,"你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠,我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。""可老鼠都是假想的呀。"朋友说。"小猫也是假想的。"布朗夫人小声说道。
3.The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it."Two pence," said the man."No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave."A penny." said the barber."I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面。理发师向他买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱。卖扫帚的人说："两便士""不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士,如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去。"卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱。卖扫帚的人说："我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上。"
4.Weigh your son
An irritated woman burst into the baker's shop and said:"I sent my son in for 2 pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales."The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied:"Madam, I suggest you weigh your son."
称一称您的儿子
一个女人怒气冲冲的闯进面包店,说："今早上我让我儿子买了2磅的饼干,但是当我称它们的时候却只有一磅了。我觉得你的称有问题"。面包师镇定的看了看女人,说："女士,我觉得您该回去称一称您的儿子。"
5.Infected ?
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
"孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？"
"没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。"
6.Seeing a dentist
"I'm sorry,Madam,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth ."
"Twenty dollars! Why,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"
"Yes,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office ."
"对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。"
"20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。"
"是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。"
7.Elevator A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flas(建档立卡户是什么意思？建档立卡户是各省（自治区、直辖市）在已有工作基础上，坚持扶贫开发和农村最低生活保障制度有效衔接，按照县为单位、规模控制、分级负责、精准识别、动态管理的原则，对每个贫困户建档立卡，建设全国扶贫信息网络系统。)hed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
一个乡下人！" At times I haven't limited this bad habit to just books either. I have also tried to skip ahead in my own life and figure out what to do months and even years from now instead of embracing each day as God intended.我的急性子不止在读书这个方面。在生活中我也时不时的会这样。想要知道未来几个月甚至几年要做什么，而不是像上天推崇的那样享受当下。
I knew that the book of my life wasn't done yet and that I had many pages left to go. Still, that didn't stop me from trying to write the ending half-way through.我知道自己人生的这本书没有结束，还有很多页没有读。然而，我还会臆想结局。
Time and again, I would foolishly jump ahead and try to solve every conceivable problem before it happened so I could reach that storybook happily ever after ending.有时我总是愚蠢地想象着书中的结局，杞人忧天般的考虑着还没发生的问题，我总是能很高兴的自动带入书中情节，不管书中结局怎样。
Life, however, doesn't work like that. God loves to surprise us, and you never know what new problem, change, or opportunity each new day will bring.
然而生活不是这样。上天喜欢给我们惊喜。每一天你都不会知道自己会遇上什么问题，改变或者机会。
Recently when I found myself returning to that bad habit of rushing ahead and living in the future again, I found His truth coming from the lips of a special soul who gently told me I needed to "live one day at a time."最近我发现这个心浮气躁、活在未来的坏习惯又开始作祟。这时我隐隐的感觉到有个神秘的灵魂对我悄声说着"活在当下"。
When I heard those words I smiled, turned the book of my life back to the right page, and thanked God for today.当我听到这些话，我会心地笑了。感谢上天让我领悟到如何将人生之书翻到正确的页码。
There is no skipping ahead in the book of life. Each of us has to live it one page and one day at a time. Each of us has to have faith in God to help us to write it line by line and moment by moment. Each of us has to trust that our Heavenly Father will bring our story to its perfect end.人生不可能像看书跳过开头就到看到结尾一样。人生一天一天度过，书也要一页一页读。我们要深信上天会帮我们书写人生，一行又一行，记录我们的一刻又一刻。最终我们会在上天的引导之下将人生画上完美的句号。
29.The Value of Time时间的价值
To realize the value of one year：Ask a student who has failed a final exam.要想知道一年的价值，那就去问期末考试不及格的学生。
To realize the value of one month：Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.要想知道一个月的价值，那就去问生了早产儿的母亲。
To realize the value of one week：Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.要想知道一周的价值，那就去问周报的编辑。
To realize the value of one hour：Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.要想知道一小时的价值，那就去问等待见面的恋人。
To realize the value of one minute：Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.要想知道一分钟的价值，那就去问误了火车、汽车或者飞机的人。
To realize the value of one second：Ask a person who has survived an accident.要想知道一秒钟的价值，那就去问大难不死的人。
To realize the value of one millisecond：Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.要想知道一毫秒的价值，那就去问奥运会获得银牌的人。
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
时间不等人，你拥有的每一刻都要珍惜。
30.The Father and his sons
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion；and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it。
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then addressed them in these words："My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies；but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks。"父亲和儿子
一位父亲有几个孩子，这些孩子时常发生口角。他丝毫没有办法来劝阻他们，只好让他们看看不合群所带来害处的例子。为了达到这个目的，有一天他叫他们替他拿一捆细柴来。当他们把柴带来时，他便先后地将那捆柴放在每一个孩子的手中，吩咐他们弄断这捆柴。他们一个个尽力去试，总是不能成功。
然后他解开那捆柴，一根根地放在他们手里，如此一来，他们便毫不费力地折断了。于是他就告诉他们说："孩子们！如果你们大家团结一致，互相帮助，你们就像这捆柴一样，不能被你们的敌人折断；但如果你们自行分裂，你们就将和这些散柴一般，不堪一折了。
31.Live Your Own Life
People always feel unsatisfied with themselves, because no matter what they do, they will be picky by others. If a girl wears a waistcoat, then some people will tell her that she is not suitable to wear such style because she is fat, then the girl changes her dressing style. When wearing a tight T-shit, still others will picky about her. The girl realizes that no matter what kind of clothes she wears, there always some people are picky about her, so she gives up to cater to them and dress for herself. Life is like this, we can't make everyone be satisfied, even our parents, but we can make ourselves happy. So just ignore what others have asked us to be, we live for ourselves and make our own decision. Don't feel sad when others question about you, just follow your heart.过自己的生活
人们总是不满意自己，因为无论他们做什么都会被人挑剔。如果一个女孩穿着一件背心，就会有人会告诉她，她不适合穿这种风格，因为她太胖了，然后那个女孩改变她的穿衣风格，穿着紧身T恤，有些人还是会挑剔她。女孩意识到不管她穿什么样的衣服，总是会有人挑剔她的，所以她放弃了迎合他们，随心所欲的穿衣服。生活就是如此，我们做不到让每个人都满意，即使是父母也一样，但我们可以让自己开心。所以忽略别人对我们的要求，我们为自己而活，做自己的决定。当别人质疑你的时候不要感到悲伤，跟随自己的心就好。
32.The Man and the Opportunity
人与机会
The lack of opportunity is ever the excuse of a weak, vacillating mind. Opportunities! Every life is full of them.
意志脆弱优柔寡断的人，总是以缺乏机会作为借口。机会！在每个人的生活当中，无处不在！
Every lesson in school or college is an opportunity. Every examination is a chance in life. Every business transaction is an opportunity - an opportunity to be polite, an opportunity to be manly, an opportunity to be honest, an opportunity to make friends. Every proof of confidence in you is a great opportunity. Every responsibility thrust upon your strength and your honor is priceless. Existence is the privilege of effort, and when that privilege is met like a man, opportunities to succeed along the line of your aptitude will come faster than you can use them.
学校里的每一节课都是一次机会。每一场考试都是人生的契机。每一次商务往来都是一次机会--一次礼貌待人的机会，一次果敢行事的机会，一次诚实守信的机会，一次广交朋友的机会。每一份对你的信任，对你都是一次莫大的机会。基于你的才干和声望而寄予你的每一份责任,都是无价的。生存是奋斗赋予的特权，而当你如男子汉一般邂逅那份殊荣时，一个个发挥你聪明才智、助你获取成功的机会便会接踵而至，令你应接不暇。
Young men and women, why do you stand here all the day idle? Was the land all occupied before you were born? Has the earth ceased to yield its increase? Are the seats all taken? The positions all filled? The chances all gone? Are the resources of your country fully developed? Are the secrets of nature all mastered? Is there no way in which you can utilize these passing moments to improve yourself or benefit another? Don't wait for your opportunity. Make it, make it as Napoleon made his in a hundred "impossible" situations. Make it, as all leaders of men, in war and in peace, have made their chances of success. Make it, as every man must, who would accomplish anything worth the effort. Golden opportunities are nothing to laziness, but industry makes the commonest chances golden.
年轻人啊，为何你们整日裹足不前而虚掷光阴？难道在你们出生之前，每一寸土地都已被他人所占据？难道地球已不再繁衍生息？难道所有的席位都已另有归属？所有的职位都已人满为患？所有的机会都一去不返？难道你国内的资源都已开发殆尽？难道大自然的奥秘都已了如指掌？难道你无法抓住这些转瞬即逝的时机来改善自我或者造福他人？切莫株守机会。去创造它，正如拿破仑在无数次绝境中创造自己逢生的机会一样。去创造它，正如战争或者和平年代的领袖们创造他们取得胜利的机会那样。去创造它，人人必须如此，任何人都能获得应有的回报。对于懒惰来讲，天赐良机也会化为乌有；对于勤奋而言，即使是微不足道的机会，也会变得金光闪闪！
33.The Fisherman And the Goldfish
Once, there was a fisherman. He had an ugly wife. They were poor.
One day, the fisherman caught a goldfish. But the goldfish could talk, "Please let me go! I'll reward you." "OK, my God?" cried the fisherman, "Don't worry. I have no wish to eat a talking fish." So he puts it into the water. The fisherman went home and told his wife about it. She became very angry. "How foolish you are!" she said, "Look at the hut. Go back to the sea and tell the fish to give me a cottage." So the fisherman went down to the beach.
"What's the matter?" asked the fish.
"My wife wants to cottage." said the fisherman.
"Don't worry, she will have it."
So the fisherman's wife had her cottage.
But after a few days, she became tired of it. "Tell the fish to give me a palace." she said. Then the fisherman went back to the beach again. And the fisherman's wife had her palace.But she soon got tried of it, too. "Ask the fish to be my servant, and I want to be a queen." This time, the fish got angry. It said nothing and swam away.
The fisherman waited and waited, but the goldfish didn't come back. When he went home, he found his wife back in their old hut.
渔夫和金鱼
从前，有一位渔夫，他又一个很丑的妻子。他们家里很穷。
一天，渔夫捕到一条金鱼。但这条金鱼会说话："请放我走吧！我会报答你的"
"啊，我的天啊！"渔夫吃惊地叫道，"别担心，我不会吃一条会说话的鱼的。"于是他把金鱼放进了水里。
渔夫回家并把这件事告诉了他的妻子。妻子非常愤怒。
"你多愚蠢啊！"她说："看看这个破草屋，到海边去，向金鱼要一间小木屋。"于是渔夫来到海边。
"怎么啦？"金鱼问。
"我的妻子想要一件小木屋。"渔夫说。
"别担心，她会有的。"
渔夫的妻子得到了一间小木屋。
但过了几天，她对此感到厌倦了："告诉金鱼，让它给我一座宫殿。"渔夫又返回海边。他的妻子得到了一座宫殿。
但她很快又对此感到厌倦："去叫金鱼做我的仆人，我想当女王。"这次，金鱼变得愤怒了，它一句话也没说就游走了。
渔夫等呀等，但金鱼没有回来。当他回家时，他看见他妻子又回到了茅屋。
34.The Fox and the Crow
One day a crow stood on a branch near his nest and felt very happy with the meat in his mouth. At that time, a fox saw the crow with the meat, so he swallowed and eagerly thought of a plan to get the meat. However, whatever the fox said to the crow, the crow just kept silent. Until the fox thought highly of the crow's beautiful voice, the crow felt flattered and opened his mouth to sing. As soon as the meat fell down to the ground, the fox took the meat and went into his hole.
狐狸和乌鸦
有一天,一只乌鸦站在窝旁的树枝上嘴里叼着一片肉，心里非常高兴。这时候，一只狐狸看见了乌鸦，馋得直流口水，非常想得到那片肉。但是，无论狐狸说什么，乌鸦就是不理睬狐狸。最后，狐狸赞美乌鸦的嗓音最优美，并要求乌鸦唱几句让他欣赏欣赏。乌鸦听了狐狸赞美的话，得意极了，就唱起歌来。没想到，肉一掉下来，狐狸就叼起肉，钻回了洞。
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